Public Idealic

I watch T.V.
The beach blonde giggles
Her brunette friend smiles
I look at them
I hate them
Their happiness
I despise the media
I despise the show
I despise myself
I know media lies
Everyone does
but it doesn't
stop
this
pain
that shoots through me
everytime I look
into the mirror
Makes me wonder
why I bother
with anything
Tears fall down my cheeks
I hate it so much
I've tried
I've gone too far
once or twice
And yet
I can't help
but be allured to
the ideal of beauty