selfish wanting

I look at my aunt
Who is explaining
Since her daughter is an only child
She gets more stuff...
Like lots of money for shoes
Mom comments how I
Will be pestering her for cash
Jokingly
To want is selfish
In a family with 3 children
And money is tight
To want is unreasonable.
I hate it. When I want.
Whether it be a hot topic tshirt
Or just a new shade of lipstick
For meeting parents.
Wanting is wrong.
In my eyes
I beat myself up everytime
I want
Because I am selfish
Because I am trvial
Wanting so close
To my brrothers birthday
Especially.
Mom while we are at the store
Asks if I want anything.
But today I got hairddye
And a stone braceelet for healing
So I bite my wanting tongue
And shake my head no
Because to want is selfish
And I don't want to trouble her.